You might have received a message similar to this one. Hopefully you didn’t send one like it. Review it and notice the mistakes, so you can avoid them.
I am a candidate referee to employers and recruiters. I came across your profile as we share a few Linkedin groups and would like to network with you for possible opportunities.
I would like to offer a no-fee CV/Resume Evaluation. This Evaluation will outline the effectiveness on your current resume/cv with suggested improvements.
If you would like to enjoy this, just email your resume to us at @email
The message is as I received it. The only thing I changed was the email address to avoid embarrassment for the sender.
What’s wrong with this message? A few flaws might be obvious. A few other mistakes I need to explain.
First, the Easily Evident Errors
The message wasn’t personal. It’s doesn’t address me. It only says “Hello” but not my name. That suggests that this was simply cut and paste. The sender didn’t sign off with her name. The message ended with the email address.
It’s all about the sender not about the receiver. The first three sentences start with the word “I”.
There’s nothing to indicate that the sender looked at my profile. What skill set or experience of mine interested her? Why did she reach out to me?
Also, I don’t know what a “candidate referee” is. Do you wear a striped shirt? Do you call people offside? If I was the referee, I would send you to the penalty box for this offensive message.
Next, Truth and Credibility
If she checked my profile as she suggested she would have noticed that I’m a business owner and have been for 19 years. I’m not part of her target audience. I have no interest in writing a CV or resume. I’m not looking for a job. I’m building my business.
The message states that we “share a few Linkedin groups”. That’s not true. We share one. In my books, that was a lie.
I looked at her portfolio and noticed that it was lame. Naturally I wondered, “How would a person who can’t write her own Linkedin portfolio offer advice to job seekers on their resume?”
Here is the Summary from her Linkedin Portfolio…
“Liaise with insurance companies for new staffs, resignation staff, renovation, expats’ home, new outlet opening & office insurance coverage as well as all insurance in regards to the events.”
It was plagued with grammatical errors. It was vague and confusing.
If she looked at my portfolio she would have noticed that it is robust. It identifies my target audience, clarifies benefits and has proof in terms of recommendations and testimonials. It includes videos, photos and links to articles and media appearances. If she was smart she might have asked for my advice.
I sent her a quick message back saying, “Thanks but no thanks.” There has been no further contact.
I imagine that she will attract the market that she deserves – desperate people. Perhaps she should list the subject line as “Are you desperate for a job?” That would be honest and might capture the attention of people she appears to be attracting.
Best Lessons for You
- Don’t lie.
- Identify your target audience and talk individually to them.
- If you want to offer your expertise – demonstrate it first.
Should you use Linkedin messaging to connect? Yes. But first do your homework and connect personally.
PS: Feel free to message me on Linkedin but please read the above first.
PPS: If you recognize yourself as the author of this message then please enjoy this free evaluation and suggested improvements.
George Torok Keynote Marketing Speaker Co-author of Secrets of Power Marketing Get your free copy of "50 Power Marketing Ideas" Power Marketing on FaceBook Marketing Zoo on Twitter